Why can festive times paradoxically bring out the worst in us? Years ago, a spiritual director said that traditional monastic wisdom held that one must be especially on guard during celebrations, such as Christmas and Easter, because the evil one is most active at those times. Whether it is the evil one or my perverse nature, I have found this often to be the case. As I write, it is the Feast of the Passing of St. Benedict, a solemnity for Benedictines – a great feast for us and a mid-Lent reprieve from Lenten fasting. It is a joyous occasion with beautiful liturgies and good food with the bonhomie that goes with them. Yet, when I was seated in a pew at 11:30 a.m., waiting for Mass to begin, I was unsettled and aggravated because things in the office that morning had not gone my way. Once again, I remembered what the spiritual director had said long ago. I thought, “Watch out for the evil one stirring things up.” I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly to return to myself and to be calmly present for the liturgy.
This situation reminds me of St. Paul’s statement in his letter to the Romans, “I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate” (7:15). Even when I desire to celebrate and be joyful, I cannot always muster the sentiment to match the occasion. In the case mentioned above, all I had to do was take a deep breath, but sometimes that is not enough.
St. Benedict has a wealth of suggestions in chapter 4 of his Rule, “The Tools for Good Works”. Here are a few:
- “You are not to act in anger or nurse a grudge.” When my mind is whirling with negative thoughts, I am usually nursing a grudge.
- “Do not injure anyone, but bear injuries patiently.” When nursing a grudge, it is hard to be patient with others or myself.
- “Do not grumble or speak ill of others.” Benedict was particularly against grumbling or murmuring, as he often called it.
- “Place your hope in God alone.” In this situation, I usually rely on my efforts to make things right.
- “As soon as wrongful thoughts come into your heart, dash them against Christ.” This is a classic of monastic teaching. The image calls to mind the rock that is Christ. I can imagine my negative thoughts as glass that shatters when I dash them against him.
- “Pray for your enemies out of love for Christ.” If anger with another is the cause of my distress, I can turn to God and pray for their good.
- And finally, “never lose hope in God’s mercy.”
How often do we look forward to special occasions like parties or vacations only to be disappointed? Why do happy occasions sometimes dissolve into bickering? We can all “watch out for the evil one,” or dash those negative thoughts against Christ. Take a deep breath and return to the best self that God has made you to be. In short, let go and let God.
By Sister Karen Ann Lortscher, OSB