“….for such service increases reward and fosters love.” Rule of Benedict, Chapter 35
Whenever life sends me in a tailspin and I am too restless to sit down and pray, I head to the kitchen. There among the familiar pots, pans and mixing bowls I prowl through cookbooks and my recipe files in search of just the right panacea, a cure for whatever disturbs me. Baking and cooking for others is an active form of prayer.
The recipe I am after is not for a cake or casserole I can binge on alone. I want to make a pot of soup to share or bake a batch of cookies to carry to a friend. I come from a long line of women and a few men who believe food is a gift and should be made with love. Nothing says I care about you like a homemade chicken pot pie with a side of fresh fruit salad. A loaf of hand-kneaded bread or a batch of chili with corn muffins can work wonders for a soul in trying times. The gift of food prepared with love speaks volumes where words will not do.
I remember kneading bread dough on my grandmother’s wooden board and thinking about the family I intended to share a loaf with. I began to pray the Hail Mary! It just came out as I was kneading the dough: “Hail, Mary, full of grace….” Ever since then, whenever I knead bread dough I pray the Hail Mary. When I make soup, I think about the people I am making the soup for, and I pray for them. I think about special moments we have shared together. If I am preparing beef or chicken for the soup, I thank God for the animal, the farmer, and all those who made it possible for this hen or the stew meat to find its way into my kitchen.
Today as I was reading about manna in the 16th chapter of Exodus, I thought about the Israelites- when seeing the morning meal laid out upon the ground like hoarfrost asking, “What is this?” There have been times when I have looked at my plate and wondered about that same thing. Was this meal made with love? Tasting is the test. Consuming what is set before us, taking that first bite – can you taste love?
Benedict made certain that a significant part of the Rule, chapters 39 and 40, addresses the importance of food and drink. He goes even further in describing the amounts and types of food that should be prepared for everyone in the community, including those with special needs. He takes pains to discuss mealtimes (chapter 41) and seating arrangements (chapter 56). Second only to the Opus Dei, the work of God as exemplified in communal prayer, mealtimes are gatherings intended to be expressions of love in service to one another.
Whenever I read chapter 35, Kitchen Servers of the Week, I think of memorable meals over the course of my life, and not just special occasions. Holiday meals and gatherings for celebrations hold meaning for most everyone, yet it is the ordinary, the daily meals around the kitchen table or a cup of tea or coffee with a friend, that we come to know the love of God that feeds and sustains us.
The preparation and serving of love originate in the heart and in the heart of the home, the kitchen, like manna from heaven and prayer in the oratory.
By Noel Poston, Oblate OSB